1. That Jacob won't come him from deployment. I know it's quite silly because he is actually pretty safe. But there is a part of me that worries about him. Even if he is safe from terrorists, there is always the random accident that could happen like a plane crash or something. I worry because I'm not sure I would be good enough to take care of my kids on my own forever and to teach them what they need to know and to be kind people on top of trying to provide for them. Preople say that when their spouse is deployed it is like being a single monther, but it is nothing like being a single mother. I get to stay home with my kids all the time. I don't have to worry about providing for them financially, and when I have a rough day, I can email or text Jacob and I always have his feed back and encouragement helping me along.
2. Heights. Like as in roller coasters. I seriously get freaked out on them. In fact I have even cried when the ride has started because I was so scared. I kind of like going on them with Jacob because then I can cuddle close to him or squeeze his hand and he thinks its funny but I would never go on one by myself. I especially hate the ones that go upside down! They are the worst!
3. Death. I never used to be afraid of dying. I know where I will go after I die and I'm not afraid of that at all. The thing I am afraid of, is what would happen to my family, especially my kids. Who would take care of them? Who would sing them songs and play with them? Who would kiss them and teach them and love them? I know they would still have Jacob, but it's a big job to do on your own, and he would still need to work. I don't want anyone else to have to raise them. That's my job, and I want to have the opportunity to do it. I love being their mom.
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