Rough Day

Its a rough day at the Bulloch house today. Actually its been a rough weekend. Kent came down with croup on Friday. I've dealt with croup before but I've never had a kid this sick. He had raspy breathing all day long. He would wake up from his nap after only a half hour just gasping for breath. He was doing anything he could to keep from coughing because it hurt him so bad, and when he did cough it would make him cry and he would need a hug. He was having super high fevers and wasn't drinking anything because it hurt his throat. I tried to take him into the Urgent Care on Friday but got there a half hour after they closed. That night was so scary. My poor little boy could hardly breath. I spent the first night sitting in a chair holding him so he could be upright and could breathe. The next day he was just as sick. I could hear him breathing and struggling for breath all day long. We made it into the Urgent Care that morning where they gave him a breathing treatment that didn't work and a steroid shot that helped. He was able to get a good nap in that after noon and while he still woke up a lot during the night, and I spent the night in his room (mostly sleeping on the floor) we both got better sleep. Sunday, I left him home with Jacob while Rachel and I went to church. He was doing better enough that I felt I could leave him. He still had (and has) the raspy breathing, but is doing better, except he is super grumpy. I know he still feels awful. I can see it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice, but it is harder to handle when he is so awfully grumpy. Rachel has also been kinda grumpy. I know it is because she hasn't had much attention because Kent has needed so much attention. Today, I have a major headache and not as much patience as I should have with my kiddos. I caught myself yelling at Rachel (which I absolutely hate). I yelled definitely more than I should (I shouldn't at all) and more than she deserved (no one deserves to be yelled at.) I put myself in a mommy time out in my room. I locked the door, took deep breaths and said a prayer. I was in my room less than 5 minutes and in the space of those 5 minutes, my son had taken an almost new bottle of nail polish outside to paint with. He painted his shirt, his hands, his feet, and...the cement outside. I got him cleaned up as quick as I could so he wouldn't paint anything else with his fingers that were covered, and went out side to see the damage. He used the entire bottle of fingernail polish. And I used an entire bottle of fingernail polish remover. Our cement is still slightly pink. How grateful I am that he took it outside before he opened it. How grateful I am that I took my 5 minutes time out. It is true that he probably wouldn't have had the chance to get into the nail polish if I had been downstairs with him, but he is tricky. Maybe he would have gotten into it anyway. I would have completely lost it, and all because my 1 year old was curious and trying to paint his nails like mommy and Rachel. I really love my kids, and it breaks my heart when I stoop so low as to yelling at them. They are 1 and 3 years old. Just little. They don't deserve to be yelled at. Not for anything. They just deserved to be loved. They are learning, and they need someone to help them learn instead of someone who will yell at every mistake they make. They need a parent who is trying to be like Jesus, and teaching them to be the same instead of making them cry and feel bad just because they are having a rough day too.  Here's to hoping our day starts to get better.