Little or Much

"It mattereth not unto me whether it be little or much..."

-Doctrine and Covenants 63:40

This verse reminds me of the story of the widow's mite. You know the one, the widow who had so little but she paid what she had for tithing in the midst of all those who were rich and were giving so much more. Jesus seeing the opportunity to teach his disciples told them, "That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had." (-Mark 12: 43-44)

How much we are able to give can change so much depending on circumstance. I'm not even talking about monetary giving. I'm talking about day to day giving. The service, the patience, the time, the love, all are things we give regularly. Some days we are able to give abundantly, and others we are barely able to get out of bed. 

Thankfully, the Lord has said, "it mattereth not...whether it be little or much." What matters to Him is that we give our all. It's okay that our all looks different from someone else's. It's okay that sometimes (or a lot of times) that it looks like less. 

The thing about our Savior though, is he takes our meager offerings and he turns them into abundance. Just like with the five loaves and two fishes. We might ask like Andrew, "What are they among so many?" It seemed like such a small offering, but Jesus took it and blessed it to become more. And he does the same with us. 

Longing for Home

"He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world." -Doctine and Covenants 63:47

Have you ever longed for home? Maybe it's just been a long day at work or school. Maybe you have been traveling or camping for a few days and just can't wait to get back. Maybe you've been away at college for a while. Or lived far from family and longed to see them again. 

 There is just something comfortable and comforting about being home, with familiar people and things.

Have you ever longed for your Heavenly home? It's not something I can remember experiencing until I also experienced some major depression. I remember an intense longing for my Heavenly Parents and for the comfort, relief, and love I knew I would find in their arms.

At times staying faithful and enduring has seemed almost too hard and the longing for home was too fierce.

How thankful I am to know though that the end will come. The end of the sorrow and the suffering and the pain. And that through patience, the heartache will be overcome. And we will be able to achieve that rest and that and joy and peace. We just need to hold on.

Held in His Hands

"Behold, the land of Zion—I, the Lord, hold it in mine own hands."

Doctrine and Covenants 63:25

The last few days the boys and I have been taking care of a family's chickens while they are out of town. Their absolute favorite part is gathering the eggs. Every few minutes while we are there, they have to check and see if the chickens have laid another egg. On Monday, I asked Elijah to hold the egg and take care of it until we got home, to make sure it didn't crack. 

He held that egg so carefully the whole way. He cradled it in his hands. He paid attention to it. He protected it. 

That is what this verse of scripture reminded me of. The careful way Elijah cradled and took care of this egg is the way our Savior takes care of us. He cradled us in His hands. He pays attention to us and he protects us. I love that image. This life is so hard at times. So stinking hard. And He knows that. He experienced it. And because he did, he knows what we are going through and he will hold us in His hands through it all. 

Side note: Elijah was so proud of himself when he got the egg home and he insisted on eating it. Then when he saw how little just one egg was, he decided he needed a second one to go with it. It didn't matter that it was nine o'clock and he had eaten breakfast not long before. Little boys always have room for a snack of eggs. 😁

Assemble Together

"This is the will of the Lord your God concerning his saints, that they should assemble themselves together unto the land of Zion."

-Doctrine and Covenants 63:24

This last year and a half sure has been interesting. Because of Covid we have been unable to: 

Gather as churches

Gather as schools

Gather as friends

Gather as families

And even when we were able to gather again there has been so much fear.

And the masks.

And the distance.

No handshakes.

No smiles.

No hugs. 

So many things have been so different. 

Finally finally finally I feel like things are changing back. We are seeing less masks and less distance. More smiles and more activities. In church this last week, we didn't wear masks and the signs had been taken down on the benches that said we could only sit in certain rows. We are finally allowed to assemble again and it feels so good.

One thing that has come from all of this is that we are all a little more grateful for families and gatherings and people. 

I am able to make you holy

I remember a time, about 6 years ago, when I felt I wasn't good enough. I had made too many mistakes. Not even huge mistakes, but too many all the same. I still believed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, but I almost felt like it wouldn't work for me. It was too late. I still wanted to do all I could so that it wouldn't be too late for my kids. I wanted them to be able to make it home to our Heavenly Father, even if I couldn't. It was like I believed in the atonement of Jesus Christ, but not that it could work for me. 

I remember attending a women's session of general conference and having my perspective changed. I don't remember all that was said there or who spoke or what the intended message of the talk was, but I do remember how I felt. The Spirit testified to me in that meeting that God cared for me personally and it wasn't too late for me. If I turned to Him, He would welcome me with open arms, and not only would He do that, but he wanted it with His whole heart. I was able to feel connected to Him in a personal way. I felt known and loved by Him.

The more I study about Jesus and His mortal ministry, the more I am astounded by those he chose to be his followers. The sinners. The outcasts. In short, the ones who were like us. The everyday people who are doing their best, but their best isn't good enough because without Him, without His sacrifice, returning back to Father is impossible. I love to watch their lives and see what they become once He enters their story. 

He told them the same thing he told me all those years ago and he offers that same invitation to you no matter your circumstances or your backgrounds or your previous sins. 

"I am able to make you holy, and your sins are forgiven you." 

Doctrine and Covenants 60:7

As for years

"Let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good."

-Doctrine and Covenants 51:17

We have been in the transition of all transitions since we moved into the trailer last October. Everywhere we have been since then has been for just a few months at a time, and this place is no exception. 

When I read this verse a couple of weeks ago, it made me think of my life right now. Like the early saints who this revelation was originally given to, we are in a transition period. If they hadn't lived there "as for years, " they wouldn't have built the temple, or worked so hard to build up Zion in the place they were at. They wouldn't have put down roots and built the houses and made the friends. If they hadn't acted upon that last as for years, they would have missed out on so many blessings.

I've decided that I am going to act upon this land as for years. I'm going to try to make the friends as for years. Serve and love and live as if it will be for years and make the connections, because that is what life is all about. I'm going to do my best to build Zion and the temple and the city, just as the saints in Ohio did.

Making those connections and serving others takes way more effort, but hopefully in doing so, when we leave here, more lives than just ours will have been blessed.