Perspective

Something to know about trailers, the walls are extremely thin. Which means that if any voices are raised, you can hear the entire thing from outside. Also, because the inside living space is so small, the outside becomes your living space as well which if you are in an RV park, that means a lot of what was once private, now isn't. Many times I've gone outside to my hammock to escape the commotion that comes with family life only to have to go back in because I can hear the kids arguments escalating and needing mommy intervention. Other times, I wonder if our neighbors are going to call CPS on us because I know they can hear every melt down and tantrum any of us every have. 

Last night, it wasn't our turn to have the raised voices. It was our neighbors. They just pulled into their spot a day or two ago and they look like a young couple with their dog. Well, last night I heard them arguing. The woman had just discovered that the man was on drugs and was extremely unhappy about it. He was trying to explain and she was definitely struggling with it. She hasn't been around all day today. I promise I'm not a snoop, its just that when you live so close to so many other people, you can't help but hear and notice things, and their "conversation" was quite loud and quite late last night.

The thing about my neighbor's situation that hit me was how lucky I am. Because of the things we believe and because of the doctrines and the guidelines of our church, we stay away from drugs and alcohol. I never have to question if my husband is ingesting dangerous substances into his body and he doesn't have to question or wonder about that with me. 

While some people see the commandments of God as restrictive, I see them as liberating. Because of what we believe and what we follow, there are so many pitfalls we avoid, things that once entered into are traps that are really hard to escape. Things that might look enticing and inviting, but really take away freedom and choices later on. 

Is my family perfect? Not by a long shot! We all face challenges and we are all human so we all make mistakes. No matter what. But the nature of our challenges are different than if we didn't heed to God's teachings.

Assemble Together

"This is the will of the Lord your God concerning his saints, that they should assemble themselves together unto the land of Zion."

-Doctrine and Covenants 63:24

This last year and a half sure has been interesting. Because of Covid we have been unable to: 

Gather as churches

Gather as schools

Gather as friends

Gather as families

And even when we were able to gather again there has been so much fear.

And the masks.

And the distance.

No handshakes.

No smiles.

No hugs. 

So many things have been so different. 

Finally finally finally I feel like things are changing back. We are seeing less masks and less distance. More smiles and more activities. In church this last week, we didn't wear masks and the signs had been taken down on the benches that said we could only sit in certain rows. We are finally allowed to assemble again and it feels so good.

One thing that has come from all of this is that we are all a little more grateful for families and gatherings and people. 

Mothers

"Of course you are never lonely if your mother is with you."

-Frances Hodgson Burnett in Little Lord Fauntleroy

This year on Mother's Day  was our first Sunday in our new ward. Not only that, but it would be our kids first time going to primary (except once with cousins) in over a year.

The kids were all excited...until we got there. Rachel and Kent had singing time together and they went in together and had no problem attending their class. Elijah on the other hand took one look one look into the classroom he was supposed to go into and turned around and ran. 

He was NOT going in there. 

He didn't know anybody. He hadn't ever been there before. Primary wasn't a thing he super remembered. When you are six, 15 months is a really long time.

The ward was having a special meeting for all of the moms for Mother's Day, and instead of going to that meeting, you know where I was? I was right where I needed to be. I was with my child. My son needed his mother that day. I stayed with him and went to his class with him and was so grateful that I am blessed enough to be his mother. 

Belonging

Since we moved into our trailer, I feel like we haven't had much belonging. We haven't belonged anywhere we've been, we've just been visiting. 

Visiting my parents.

Visiting my sisters.

Visiting.

And while it's nice to visit here and there, and see new places and familiar faces, sometimes it's hard to not belong. 

Belong to a ward. Belong to city. Belong to a community. Belong to a library. Belong to some sort of group. 

Belonging to me means knowing enough about those around you that you can see needs and fill them and being able to receive the help you need in return. It means feeling needed. 

I've really been missing that since we moved into the trailer and have been traveling around. I didn't even know I was missing it until last week when someone in our ward that we just met asked us to take care of their chickens, cat, and fish while they went out of town. My soul was filled with happiness when they asked us. A chance for service. A chance to belong. 

Then the person in charge of singing time in Primary is going out of town this week and needed a sub for this Sunday. I jumped at the chance to help and belong again. 

How grateful I am to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ. It gives me a chance to find belonging and familiarity no matter where we travel. No matter where we go, we have a built in community waiting for people to come and help, and serve and belong. 

Kind Little Hearts

"Nothing in all the world is so strong as a kind heart, and somehow this kind little heart, though it was only the heart of a child, seemed to clear all the atmosphere of the big gloomy room and make it brighter." 

- Frances Hodgson Burnett in Little Lord Fauntleroy